Review & Reflection
November - January goals:
I did it! I hand-wrote Christmas cards and sent them out to family. This was a first and I enjoyed sending a little wallet-sized photo along. Practicing my writing and letter art is something I enjoy and find challenging. I’ve never liked my handwriting and have created little art over the past 10 years so it felt really good to be creative and send some love.
I did pretty well with mailing birthday cards too. Some were late but sent nonetheless. I’m not sure how I feel about this goal long term, still feeling it out.
Staying connected with friends and texting/calling when they come to mind:
Yup! I have stayed up to date with this. One thing my dad would tell me is “If someone comes to mind and you’re thinking of them, give them a call”. I love this advice. If you don’t act on it, the thought may slip away, then the relationship weakens. Telling those you love that you’re thinking of them creates stronger more loving relationships and for me, that’s what this year is all about.
Meet new friends in Tahoe who are on the same page:
Considering it has only been a month of being in Tahoe, I’m on track with this goal. It hasn’t just been meeting new people who are on the same page, It’s also been connecting me with people who I’ve known but maybe haven’t been super close with. This has been a fun and exciting goal to pursue.
HA! I think I have written one time since we moved back west, and now writing this, but that is not nearly enough to count towards meeting this goal. I did sign up for a writing workshop that starts in February which will help kick me into gear. Truthfully, I have had a tremendous decline in my confidence as a writer. Moving to the East Coast where it seems everyone I meet went to a prestigious college did a number on my inner dialog and self-worth when it comes to writing. My biggest struggle is grammar, does anyone have any recommendations on where or how I could relearn basic English grammar without going back to 8th grade?! LOL!
Have East Coast Christmas gifts wrapped before flying out west:
NAILED IT! It took some teamwork between Seth and me to acquire the gifts with enough time to wrap but we did it and it felt great.
Get out and enjoy living in Tahoe as much as possible:
You know I am! There is added depth here because of the amount of effort and finances it takes to do this move. We don’t own our home so it’s a lot of logistics and shuffling to make it work. Not only that but a huge financial commitment as well. Each time we do it, we learn more and get better at it. Our long-term goal is to continue living out east for summers and west for winter but after this winter move, we are reevaluating the stress and strain it puts on us and weighing that against the benefits. Do we stay out east for a few full years? I hope not, LOL. That’s the thing about making BIG goals, set years in the future, you can plan and imagine how things will work out but you don’t know until you’re living it.
Buy a new (to me) car:
Right when I gave up on this goal and decided that I’m okay being a one-car family for the winter, we ended up getting a car to use! Rather than dealing with buying and selling, we have been able to use a family car for the few months we will be here. Feeling grateful for the opportunities this opens up!
Be gentle with my postpartum body while gaining muscle:
Cross-country skiing is the answer! I didn’t know this when I got completely obsessed with the goal of cross-country skiing with Conrad. It has been what I’m calling “the perfect postpartum activity for me”.
I was lucky enough to do a six-week workout class with a pelvic floor physical therapist a few months ago that focused on building a solid foundation after having a baby. It has made all the difference. Truthfully, I do feel I could be doing more strength training. The main reason I haven’t is because of the busyness of moving across the country, holiday travels, sleep training, and settling into a new house. Now that all that is behind me, I’m feeling like this can be a bigger focus for my February through April goals. Let’s go!
Wash my face and floss every day:
Why is flossing every day so hard?! Okay, I was doing great with this in November and most of December but as you can imagine, both of these got lost in travel and transition. One trick that was working well, was to do these things during Conrad’s bathtime. I’ll be transparent with you as say this, I know I’m not going to floss or wash my face every day and really, I don’t feel like I want or need to. BUT by having such a big goal around this, I’m getting in enough of it to make me feel satisfied. Tricking myself like this DOES NOT WORK for every goal, but it works for this one. I also don’t think tricking myself is going to work long-term, but it’s working for me right now. This is why it’s so important to know/be honest with yourself, choose an appropriate size goal, and pick a time frame so to can check on your progress and adjust as needed. Goals aren't meant to be “set it and forget it”.
Go to the dentist:
I have not done this - FAIL. I haven’t even called. I did try to call but their office hours changed and, well, that was that.
Get cross-country skies and a trailer to tow Conrad:
Heck yes! I got the whole setup (minus the boots) at the thrift store! Best thrift store score of my life!!
Find balance with being a working mom:
Yes, and no. I’ve been back to work, minimally, for a while now. I want to ramp things up but my biggest challenge is that with my job, I don’t punch the clock and get paid. I put in A LOT of unpaid hours which is a mind f*** when leaving Conrad. I’m currently working on childcare so I can get more hours in. We will see where things go. I don’t feel out of balance but I am struggling with the requirements and reality of what it takes to be away from Conrad for an extended period.
Own my role at home and ask for help when I need it:
Doing great with this AND getting better all the time! I have particularly noticed myself becoming more and more comfortable with asking for help. Even if it's as simple as asking a stranger to help get the door when my hands are full while out and about.
Learn what works for our family:
Feeling good about this too. It’s cool to witness all the different ways to a parent. I try to participate in mom groups as much as possible. By doing so, I get to hear all the different struggles, successes, and ways of doing things. Although I do feel a lack of connection at times because we generally are choosing to parent differently than others, I remind myself that, for one, it’s a choice, and for two, I’m doing what’s best for me/my family. Never underestimate the power of simply reminding yourself!
Be present and patient with Conrad:
Some days are better than others. Now that he is taking longer, more consistent naps (some days), I’ve noticed it to be easier to drop in with him while he is awake because I’m able to shower, eat food, do chores, etc. while he snoozes. Trying to make lunch, eat lunch, and entertain him doesn’t always go so smoothly! He is getting to an age where we can engage and play more - so fun!
Put effort into 1:1 time with Seth:
This has been going well but is a daily effort. Our son has been going to bed on a pretty consistent schedule lately which gives Seth and me 1-2 hours together in the evening. It has become a little something to look forward to every day.
Clear communication in my relationship, especially when feeling worked up:
Generally, communication is a strength in our relationship but let me just say I have been very caught off guard by starting my first period! The emotions were running HIGH this week but as always, we can talk, love, forgive, and work together. I did catch myself a few times needing to communicate my need for silence because I had nothing nice to say! Not easy, but necessary. I find it important to note that when I do this, I always revisit the talk and never leave Seth hanging.
Find our balance and groove with house chores and Conrad:
I’ll just say… moving doesn’t make this easier on us! New house, new organization, new schedules, it’s all different and we have to learn new ways and practice. BUT we are crushing it AND I’m learning to let go of the perfectly organized, aesthetically pleasing, house when in reality, we are only here for a few months. I ask myself “What is worth putting my time and effort into”? Usually, the answer is all things Conrad, eating yummy food, and getting outside for movement and fresh air.
I have also been working hard at finding childcare options that work for us and have been pretty successful so far. This makes keeping up with our businesses and house chores much more manageable. It really does take a village!
Find housing in Tahoe:
Cha-ching! We found housing and are settled - hooray!!!
I thought I did great at this but Seth said the truck was packed to the brim. Oops! I’m still giving myself a pass on this one because there aren’t too many things that I packed that I've thought “You know, we didn’t need this”. So that is a win in my book!
Keep healthy food stocked and prepped in the fridge:
I’m great at the stocking, but not as great at the prepping. I have been spending more and more time in the kitchen lately and that feels good. Seth has been our house chef for probably close to a year at this point (I used to be the main cook but pregnancy and having a baby shifted that) and I’m so grateful - he is such a great cook! But, I also love cooking and it’s been nice to have some time and energy to get back in the kitchen. I just got the ingredients for one of my favorite breakfasts that I haven’t had in months, savory oats! To me, the whole point of having things prepped is to get me in the kitchen and eating well, both of those have been happening without the prep so I’m calling it a win!
We have been introducing solids to Conrad so now the kitchen has become a family affair every evening. Exploring foods with him is great motivation to prep and prepare delicious foods for the whole family.
Remember that a clean house isn’t always the priority:
Yup, got it. It’s not super easy for me but the value in not stressing and worrying about the messes rules. A motto that has helped me is “Something is better than nothing”. Even if I don’t get all the dishes, getting some is better than none. Even if I don’t get everything put away, some is better than none. Putting into practice that it doesn’t always have to be all or nothing.